Life Terms
by Jillian K
Summary: Dead Things with a twist. Buffy Summers was found guilty of the murder of Katrina Silver. After a decade in prison she is but a shadow of who she once was. Can the love of a faithful vampire be enough? Or has the darkness finally claimed her?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Life terms   
  
Author: Jillian K.  
  
Summary: Post Dead Things with twist. What if Buffy had never learned of her own innocence  
  
in Katrina's murder? It's ten years later and the only one still waiting for her is the one that she  
  
hurt the most. Angst and more of that.  
  
Disclaimer: BTVS and its characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This fic is  
  
intended for entertainment purposes only.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
He was dead, with a draining kind of tiredness that had nothing to do with physical activity but  
  
rather with emotional turmoil. Only sleeping for a week could lessen his complete weariness.   
  
Unfortunately, there was truly no rest for the wicked. In fact the fun was just starting.   
  
Spike sat in his newly washed car and thought about her for the billionth time. He would see her  
  
again. Today she would return to his life.  
  
Buffy Summers. The strong, beautiful slayer with martyr complex that rivaled the biblical  
  
Daniel. The woman whose blind sense of justice had led her to spend a decade in Valley State  
  
Prison away from her people and her calling. They had missed her but she was just about to find  
  
out that life went on without her. He hoped that the realization wouldn't hurt too much. Part of  
  
him also hoped that it would.  
  
He wondered how she would look. She would no longer be a fresh faced twenty year old but a  
  
mature woman of thirty. No doubt she'd be different. Would her beauty be gone? And yet as  
  
he wondered this he knew that it would make no difference.  
  
It was very early and her release time was scheduled for 9:00 a.m. which was exactly 45 minutes  
  
away. He'd driven all night to get Chowchilla on time. He didn't want her to have to get on a  
  
bus to come home. She had gone through a lot already.  
  
Buffy Summers was convicted and sentenced of one count of manslaughter. She had tried to  
  
plea bargain but her prior record (a rather extensive one) had prevented her from doing so. So  
  
she'd gotten the book thrown at her. Ten cold, lonely years behind bars. Buried behind bars.   
  
She'd been placed in the general population when a certain demon had invaded the cell block.   
  
Buffy'd done her duty but had been sent to the Security Housing Unit which was a supermax  
  
security wing within the prison. She was in her cell for more than twenty-three hours per day  
  
and was only allowed out to shower or to "exercise" in the penned up yard. Everywhere she  
  
went she would be shackled and subjected to strip searches. He thought of that constantly. His  
  
Buffy having to strip nude in front of strangers, spending her nights alone behind a steel door.  
  
Being chained and told what to do every second of her life. It bothered him, actually it hurt him  
  
deeply. She didn't deserve any of it.  
  
Now she would be free and facing life as an ex-con. He was afraid that it would not be  
  
easy. She would be branded a criminal for the rest of her life.  
  
He sighed loudly and ran a hair through his soft brown curls. He'd given up on peroxide right  
  
about the time she'd gone to prison. There was no need to impress anyone. In fact without her  
  
he felt rather detached from the world. He knew that he had to take care of Dawn and make sure  
  
that the Scoobies did not get killed but even as he did that, he felt completely unable to connect.   
  
Even as he carefully guarded his charge he couldn't shake the numbness away the deadened  
  
spirit. It was if all light had gone from his world.  
  
Still, he had done his duty. The bit had survived and thrived miraculously into a pretty  
  
levelheaded young woman that had gone to college and married a pretty decent chap. She lived  
  
in Connecticut and was pursuing a masters degree as well as motherhood. He could not be  
  
prouder.  
  
The Scoobies had fought the good fight and had come out on top. The council of Watcher had  
  
facilitated Faith's release when Buffy had gotten convicted. The penitent Slayer had managed to  
  
keep the hellmouth under control. Willow and Tara had also proven to be a force to be reckoned  
  
with. They were currently residing in England and sharing their knowledge with the ancient  
  
Covent of Witchcraft. They would not be returning for another year.  
  
Xander and Anya had decided to marry and raise a family away from the hellmouth. They had  
  
moved to a little town in Iowa and called only sporadically. He really couldn't blame them as  
  
they had suffered enough.  
  
Eventually the hellmouth had caved within itself and Faith had decided to join Angel in LA.   
  
Spike had come along but life within the poofster's circle was a little too much for him. He'd  
  
decided to move back to Sunnydale and take care of the remaining vamps and demons in the  
  
city. It was a little lonely but he'd adapted to it. He'd bought a tiny house with his savings and  
  
this is where he would be taking the Slayer. He hoped that she would accept as she really had  
  
nowhere else to go.  
  
He sighed again and dug his nails into the steering wheel. It was all bloody screwed up. Maybe  
  
he should go. Maybe it would be the best for both of them. He wasn't himself anymore and hell  
  
only knew who she was now. They could only hurt each other and they'd already done too much  
  
of that.  
  
But he wouldn't leave. He couldn't. He had always been in for the long haul. He was there  
  
when the gates finally opened and the Slayer had her first taste of freedom in ten years.  
  
TBC (Maybe. If I get enough reviews) 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
  
  
The urge to run was irresistible. But Buffy Summers had not survived the past ten years  
  
in the Security Housing Unit of Valley State Prison for women by giving in to her urges.   
  
As calmly as she could manage, she walked towards the last set of locked gates as if she  
  
didn't care that she would soon take her first breath of fresh air in a decade.  
  
  
  
The guard by her side seemed in a hurry to get this over with. This was an unfamiliar  
  
guard, probably from level 1 that Buffy had never been a part of. She'd done most of her  
  
time in the infamous SHU along with the other 250 or so prisoners categorized as violent  
  
offenders. Buffy closed her eyes, the sting of the classification still prodded even after  
  
all these years. She hated the term and she hated what implicated: Hard Time.  
  
  
  
With difficulty, she shoved those thoughts to the dark recesses of her mind and  
  
concentrated on the present.  
  
  
  
Finally, the gate began its slow opening motion. The guard looked at Buffy's ensemble:  
  
the now too-loose grey skirted suit with the pink blouse underneath. These were the  
  
clothes that she had worn to her sentencing. She had not arrived at the prison wearing  
  
them but they had been brought from the Sunnydale courthouse and stored away. She  
  
knew that they were hopelessly outdated (skirts were 3 inches shorter this year) but  
  
barring her white and blue prison uniform they were her only alternative. Unfortunately,  
  
the black pumps had gone missing so he had to wear they cheap canvas shoes that the  
  
prison had issued her. Buffy knew that she looked awful but she couldn't find it in her  
  
heart to care overmuch.  
  
  
  
In her hands she carried the single canvas bag that contained the sum of her possessions  
  
besides her clothing. Inside where the things that she had carefully guarded throughout  
  
the years of cell searches. The items that reminded her that she was still a person even if  
  
her environment had claimed otherwise.  
  
  
  
The now-open gate beckoned and Buffy slowly stepped through it. The unobstructed  
  
view of a California morning greeted her. She took a deep breath and blinked away the  
  
unexpected moisture. Funny, she thought that she'd cried herself out. Apparently there  
  
were still more tears left in her.  
  
  
  
Her eyes combed the grounds. He had promised that he would be there. After a few  
  
tense moments she saw the black car. She let go of the breath she'd been holding  
  
unknowingly.  
  
  
  
Carefully and with a tentativeness that came from the heart she walked towards him.   
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
She was still beautiful. But as she approached he could clearly see that she was no longer  
  
the same. She walked differently, she moved differently. She was different.  
  
Buffy reached the car and stood before him in her ill-fitting suit and ugly shoes. Waiting  
  
for a word, for a sign. Their eyes bore into each other's through the tinted window.  
  
He opened the door and after another second she climbed in into the darkness of the  
  
automobile. They did not say anything and he understood how overwhelmed she was.   
  
He needed to go slowly for her sake.  
  
  
  
"I'm glad you're back luv" he uttered quietly.  
  
  
  
She pressed her lips together and nodded without looking at him. His hand reached over  
  
and took hers. Buffy turned as he pressed his lips to the back of her hand gently. Her  
  
eyes softened.  
  
  
  
"Missed you" she whispered.  
  
  
  
"Me too love. You don't know how much"  
  
  
  
She saw the sincerity in his blue eyes. They were haunted with a loneliness that rivaled  
  
her own. Throughout all these years she may have suffered greatly but it wasn't all her  
  
pain. It was his too.  
  
  
  
Spike released her hand and took the steering wheel. After one more deep look at his  
  
passenger, he started the car towards the highway. It would be an almost five hour drive  
  
to Sunnydale. He had planned to drive-through for breakfast but he knew that she was  
  
too nervous to eat yet so they would do lunch instead.  
  
  
  
After a few silent minutes he noticed the glazed look to her eyes and knew that she was  
  
remembering.   
  
  
  
The view was desolate. There was nothing in sight except for tall corn stalks Buffy  
  
recalled seeing the same crops from the bus taking her to the prison.   
  
  
  
It had been early autumn then as well. After her sentencing she had been allowed to say  
  
goodbye to Dawn and her friends, then she had been led to the secure room of the  
  
courthouse to change into her orange jumpsuit with the word 'inmate' stitched into the  
  
back. The guards had shackled her wrist and ankles and added a belly chain to link the  
  
two. Then they had sat her down on the floor to wait for the bus.  
  
  
  
Two hours later the transportation team and the bus arrived. She was put into the  
  
vehicle and chained into the seat. As soon as she stepped inside she was met with the  
  
nauseating stench of emanating from the bathroom in the back. There were other female  
  
prisoners inside but they barely gave her a glance as she was settled in. All were too  
  
caught up in their own private misery.   
  
  
  
They must have driven for hours. Buffy had no way to tell exactly how long since her  
  
watch had been confiscated along with her clothes. When the sun had completed its  
  
descent a large green sign appeared on the highway indicating the closeness of the  
  
prison. She felt her heart sink as she saw the colorless structure looming on the barren  
  
horizon. As the bus approached, the sight became even bleaker.   
  
  
  
The vehicle stopped before the heavily secured gates. One of the guards signaled and  
  
they were allowed inside. The gates closed behind them effectively sealing them in.  
  
  
  
Buffy felt a dry lump forming in her throat. She tried to swallow it painfully as the  
  
guards began unloading the prisoners one by one. Then it was her turn and she was  
  
unchained from her seat.  
  
  
  
The sight that greeted her would stay with her forever. The prison seemed huge and  
  
spread as far as she could seem in the dim light. Its perimeter was enclosed with  
  
concrete fences topped at each corner with a lighted control tower with a heavily armed  
  
guard posted inside. There wasn't any vegetation growing anywhere close and even the  
  
air seemed to weigh in heavily in her lungs. It was worst than she had anticipated.  
  
  
  
The guards motioned the prisoners to line in a single file and she fell behind one of them.   
  
Her chains clanged in the darkness as she walked slowly in deference to the shackles.   
  
The other women were doing the same as the group slowly advanced to one of the  
  
buildings and entered the processing center.  
  
  
  
The dehumanization process began as soon as she stepped inside. The guards placed  
  
Buffy and the other six women into a large holding cell. Two female guards stepped in  
  
with them and unshackled the prisoners.  
  
  
  
The new inmates were ordered to place their hands on the wall facing back. Shoes and  
  
socks were to be removed and checked for contraband. Then they had to take off the  
  
orange uniforms and underwear. Buffy felt the blood run to her face as she was told to  
  
turn around. Her hair was released from its ponytail and it fell like a honey blond  
  
curtain across her bare shoulders. She was ordered to comb through it with her fingers  
  
then her hands and feet were inspected.   
  
  
  
Afterwards the prisoners were asked to face the wall and squat with their legs spread. A  
  
guard focused a mirror to check inside of her. Finally the humiliating ordeal was over  
  
and she was issued her uniform, bedroll and a small paper bag containing her  
  
necessities. After the inmates were dressed they were escorted into their particular  
  
housing unit. Buffy walked along numbly with the knowledge that she had entered the  
  
real hell-mouth.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
  
  
Author's note; Thank you so much for your kind reviews. For whoever in intrigued by  
  
this premise check out alex9's "The Visit" which is the fic that inspired me to write this.   
  
As for incorporating the characters from "Angel" such as Lindsey, I don't think that I  
  
could do it since I am not familiar with the series all that much. I will be including other  
  
characters, Dawn and Giles will most definitely be visiting. Maybe Xander/Anya ,  
  
Willow/Tara. Faith and Angel will make their appearance (maybe as a couple??). But the  
  
main focus is Spike and Buffy and how the actions of one affected the other. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
They made into Sunnydale a few minutes after two. The sun was high in the sky but Spike drove  
  
on unconcerned. He alternated watching the road with watching Buffy who had not said a word  
  
in hours. The vampire remembered a time when all she did was talk to him or at him. Now, he  
  
wasn't sure as to how to proceed with this silent Buffy.  
  
Spike's house was only a few blocks away from Buffy's former home. The unassuming single  
  
level structure had a tiny yard and a deep-shaded porch. Healthy green bushes bordered the  
  
perimeter and Buffy caught the smell of late blooming roses. She looked at the vampire  
  
questioning.   
  
Spike grinned sheepishly "I now include twilight gardening among my many other talents. I got  
  
from the bit that these are your favorite flowers"  
  
"When did you plant them?"  
  
"As soon as I moved in. I bought this place after the bank foreclosed on your house. We tried to  
  
save it but the mortgage was beyond my means. I am sorry for that"  
  
She shook her head. "Don't apologize. The house had three mortgages on it after mom's  
  
sickness and my legal fees. It was a miracle that there was enough left to send Dawnie to  
  
school...but that doesn't make any sense...how could there have been any money left? We had  
  
no savings when I got arrested. We had nothing. Where did you get the money to send Dawn to  
  
school?"  
  
"Everybody chipped in what they could" he said offhandedly   
  
"But Dawn went to UCONN. They could not have paid for that"  
  
"The poofter in LA came up with the money" the vampire revealed looking away.  
  
"He gave it to you? No he didn't, you would not had let him" her tone was certain. Spike  
  
sighed.  
  
"He lent it to me. Also enough for the down payment on this place"  
  
Realization flooded her face "I get it. When you went to LA it wasn't because you wanted it but  
  
because you had to pay Angel back. You worked for him" she finished softly  
  
He wouldn't look at her. Ashamed that she had caught him in a lie and because he had to admit  
  
that he had not been able to support his nibblet. She had trusted him to take care of her and he  
  
had proved inadequate.  
  
Buffy looked at him and her eyes watered for the second time that day. The truly extraordinary  
  
man before her had swallowed his pride and gone to beg his hated sire for money to send her  
  
little sister to college. She didn't know what to say so she merely acted on impulse.  
  
Spike was startled when he felt her arms go around him. He had been longing for her touch for  
  
all these years and even though it was only a sign of gratitude, it was still paradise. He closed  
  
his eyes and leaned in to savor her scent. Eventually, she pulled away but smiled tenderly at him.  
  
The house sported a large side garage with an automatic door that opened at the push of a  
  
button. Spike steered the car safely inside and turned off the engine.  
  
"Here we are. I hope it is to your liking" he expressed shyly as he moved to open her door. She  
  
rose from her seat self-consciously and followed him to the house.  
  
The house was small but comfortable. The rooms were done in muted shades with a splash of  
  
bright red scattered about. The tall windows were covered in thick crimson draping that filtered  
  
out the sunlight. Every room had its share of the short votive-candles that Spike favored as well  
  
as roses. It was exactly how she would have decorated it if it had been her house. They finished  
  
their tour in the master bedroom which Buffy was to occupy. She took in the large bed with the  
  
creamy bedspread topped with half a dozen comfortable pillows. In the SHU her bed had been a  
  
narrow wall mounted bunk with a 3 inch vinyl covered mattress and no pillow. When she was in  
  
isolation she had to make do with the cold floor. The beautiful room before her seemed so alien  
  
after ten years of deprivation that she could cry.   
  
Sensing her distraught state, Spike stepped back and let her have a few minutes alone to herself  
  
as he went to retrieve the towels and toiletries that she would need. When he came back, she  
  
was still standing in the middle of the room.  
  
"Are you okay luv?"  
  
She didn't reply but simply sank to the carpeted floor. Spike dropped what he had been carrying  
  
and went to hold her like a child. Her anguished sobs were heartbreakingly loud and tore at him so much  
  
that he was soon crying alongside her. They were quiet as they shared the pain from a decade of loneliness, degradation and separation.   
  
When their sobs finally subsided he carried her up from the floor and carefully laid her across  
  
the bed. She had fallen asleep. He removed her shoes and drew a soft blanket over her. Her  
  
long blonde hair was spread on the pillow and he touched it lovingly. He'd always loved her  
  
hair even if it no longer shined after years of generic shampoo. Spike took in the tiny but deeply etched lines around her eyes and lips, her gauntness and the sallowness of her skin without sun. To some she would no longer be considered pretty but to him she was still the most beautiful woman in the world.  
  
Buffy had been hurt, he knew that. Inside she carried some pretty dark memories which he  
  
hoped that she would share with him someday. He would wait and help her heal as much as he  
  
could. She would be okay, he promised himself and her.  
  
***  
  
Her dreams were memories that led her back to her first day in hell.  
  
She had been placed in the general population but designated a level two classification because  
  
she was a murderess. Three officers armed with batons and pepper spray walked her group  
  
across the prison to the open dorm session of the complex. One of the officers delineated the  
  
rules that they were to abide by. Although they would be placed in a semi-secure wing they  
  
would be closely monitored and had to stay within the perimeters at all times. At night they  
  
would be locked in. Minor infractions would be punished by time in the isolation unit. Large  
  
infractions would be punished by upgrades in security. The prisoners were warned that their  
  
cells and personal property would be searched routinely and that any contraband confiscated  
  
would be considered an infraction. Buffy was too on edge to listen closely but walked with her  
  
head down and her attention on the floor.  
  
In the prison pod they met with more guards. Each was assigned a prisoner to lead to her cell.   
  
Buffy's guard was a tall heavyset woman that gave her a distasteful once-over and ordered her to  
  
move quickly. She tried to pick up her pace but accidently dropped her bedroll. The guard  
  
ordered her to halt and summarily struck her across the face. To a Slayer the blow was  
  
minuscule but it was so unexpected that she fell back. The guard grabbed her arm and dragged  
  
her the few yards to her cell and all but shoved her inside locking the barred door behind her.  
  
Her hands automatically grasped at the metal bars and it finally became real. She was here as a  
  
prisoner of the state for ten long years. She could not leave, she was trapped. Sure she could  
  
probably escape but then how far could she run from herself and her guilt. No, her word kept  
  
her here as much as the bars did.  
  
Eventually she turned and faced her new reality. The cell was large but the four bunk beds made  
  
the space much more reduced. There was a single stainless steel sink and toilet and a medium  
  
sized mirror hung on a wall. Large footlockers were placed underneath each bunk bed. A  
  
single steel desk sat in one corner. Each bed but one had an occupant and she headed bonelessly  
  
towards it. Nobody said a word to her. They understood that for tonight she would need the  
  
quiet.  
  
The lights were turned off a few minutes later. The darkness concealed Buffy's tears.  
  
TBC.   
  
Thank you for your reviews. Please continue to R/R. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
She slept for almost seven hours. Spike checked on her periodically, soothing her whenever he  
  
sensed that the dreams were getting to be too much. He was reluctant to wake her, knowing full  
  
well that the nightmares would come back.  
  
***  
  
Within her dreams, Buffy Summers, relived the first terrible months.  
  
Prison life was all about routine and regulation. From the moment she first opened her eyes to  
  
the moment that the lights were turned off were to be accounted for. Six days out of the week  
  
she was awakened by a guard at 4:30 a.m. to begin her shift in the prison cafeteria which she  
  
worked for a few dollars a month. The morning count would be at 6:30 and she would have to  
  
line up so that the guard with the clipboard could make sure she was there. Then she would go  
  
back to work unloading the metal trays from the dishwashers until 7:00 where her first shift  
  
would end and she would be excused for breakfast.   
  
Breakfast would usually be a gooey mass of oatmeal, runny eggs or tasteless cereal. As with all  
  
her meals Buffy would choose whatever she could swallow without gagging. After that she  
  
would be allowed to return to her cell until 10:30 in which she would begin her second cafeteria  
  
shift which would last until 2:00 p.m. This was followed by another count and then lunch which  
  
would be just as tasteless as breakfast. Then it was the prison yard for a couple of hours. Dinner  
  
was served at six. Afterwards, she could join any of the groups for an hour of "specialized  
  
programing" which could be religious services or any of the activities sponsored by the  
  
institution. When it was over she would have to return to her cell for yet another head count. At  
  
9:00 the cells would be locked and at 11:00 the lights would go off until the next day where it  
  
would all begin again.  
  
For the first two months of her incarceration she did not get any visits besides her attorney  
  
"wrapping" the case. Any possible visitors would have to be approved by the state and have  
  
their backgrounds check. Since Dawn was a minor their father had to give her permission to  
  
come and see her sister. He didn't do it so she never saw Dawn or her father. Giles would come  
  
from England every three months to see her. Xander and Anya would alternate with Willow and  
  
Tara so she had someone every week. As time went on these visits became her lifeline. She  
  
could survive anything as long as she had people that cared for her.  
  
It all changed eighteen months into her sentence.   
  
The day had been relatively quiet except for the strange sensation she had been experiencing all  
  
day. She had finished both her work shifts and was heading into the prison yard to get the last  
  
few rays of sunshine before being locked up for the night. Then she heard the screams.  
  
Screaming in prison was not uncommon but Buffy knew what true terror sounded like so she ran  
  
unthinkingly towards its source.   
  
She never learned the name of the demon that she faced that day but she realized quickly that it  
  
was incorporeal and jumped from body to body. It had been a challenge to her long dormant  
  
skills but she had been able to vanquish it. In the confusion that ensued, the guards had taken  
  
her for the attacker and although no one had been seriously hurt she was taken into isolation for  
  
days until they established what her punishment would be. Upon her release she was informed  
  
that her category had changed and that she would be serving her remaining time in the Security  
  
Housing Unit.  
  
The SHU as it was commonly referred to as was the maximum security wing of the prison. It  
  
was geared towards the dangerous Level IV inmates that could not function properly within the  
  
semi-lax regulations of the first two levels. The intent of the classification was not meant as  
  
punishment but merely as a permanent change in status. There were no guidelines as to how  
  
long a prisoner could remain under such extreme confinement. There were many who served  
  
their entire sentences inside it.  
  
After leaving solitary confinement she was allowed back into her shared cell to pack her few  
  
possessions as her cell mates looked on pityingly. Buffy Summers up until that point had been a  
  
model prisoner who did her time quietly and never bothered anyone. She was generous in  
  
sharing items from the many care packages that she received and that along with her obvious  
  
physical ability earned her the respect of the other inmates. They were sorry to see her go.  
  
When she was done she said quick goodbyes and turned her possessions to one of the guards as  
  
instructed by them.  
  
A soon as she stepped out of her former cell she began experiencing the change in her status.   
  
The two officers that had come to escort her in the SHU were heavily armed with guns as well as  
  
baton and pepper spray. They efficiently shackled her extremities and placed a belly chain over  
  
her uniform. Then they proceeded to walk her out of the cell block ensconced between them.   
  
They stepped into the warm California morning. Buffy squinted after many days of sunless  
  
confinement but was prodded along by the guards into her new housing unit. With her chains  
  
clinking and her head down she entered the building.  
  
Her escorts immediately turned her over to the intake officers and placed her bag of possessions  
  
on a metal desk. The intake officers then led her to a pre-fabricated holding cell in the middle of  
  
the SHU processing center, removed her restraints and curtly ordered her to strip. She did as  
  
told without complaining and was docile as the guards ran her through an invasive cavity search.   
  
Buffy was shamefully aware that the woven steel rod cell made her highly visible to the guards  
  
within the reception center. When it was finally done she was given another uniform and her  
  
chains were replaced.  
  
A beefy male guard entered the holding cell and introduced himself as officer Randall. He  
  
proceeded to inform her of the rules and regulations that her new status would entail.  
  
Buffy learned that she would no longer be working in the cafeteria. She would be locked in her  
  
cell not only at night but during the day as well. A recreation period of no more than an hour per  
  
day was allocated as were two phone calls per month. She did not have visiting privileges at this  
  
point and he didn't know if that would change anytime soon. The guards would be conducting  
  
regular searches of her cell as well as her person looking for contraband. She would be expected  
  
to submit to all of them or stand to lose her privileges which at this point were precious few.   
  
Regulation restraints would be used whenever she left her cell either to be taken to the showers  
  
or the recreation room.   
  
The guard finished by informing her that she was literally at the end of the line and that any  
  
further misconduct would result in getting additional time tacked on to her original sentence.  
  
Buffy listened quietly, her spirits sinking further and further with everything that she learned.   
  
When it was over she allowed the two intake guards to lead her into her new cell.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: Thank you for your reviews and comments. I am doing some research for this  
  
into the American corrections system. Valley State is actually the prison for women with the  
  
largest population in the States. Unfortunately, it also has an extensive reputation of inmate  
  
abuse both physical and sexual. There are guidelines such as those mentioned by alex9 but there  
  
are also many reports of officers breaking them without any retaliation. I guess that is probably  
  
true of many such institutions. Let me know if I am going overboard with this.  
  
On another note, does anybody know if evil preacher Caleb had a last name? I'm thinking of  
  
having him make an appearance (not as a preacher) but equally evil. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
"Wake up luv" his voice was soft and husky just like it had been during the thousands of dreams when her life was at its darkest and she at her loneliest.  
  
Unconsciously, she pressed her body closer to the source of her constant fantasies. He smiled tenderly at her actions and gently caressed her tear streaked face.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes slowly as his image came into focus. God, he was still so beautiful. Brilliant blue eyes rimmed by sooty lashes. A porcelain face with striking cheekbones and lush crimson mouth. She had kissed that mouth and bitten on its fleshy lower lip in dreams and in reality. The stimulating taste of smoke, liqueur and blood was still present in her. She licked her lips.  
  
Pleased at her reaction he grinned broadly and kissed her cheek playfully. She sat up and looked at him questioning.  
  
"Dawnie's on the phone" he answered and held out the cordless black phone for her to take.  
  
Panic flooded Buffy's face and she shook her head violently. Spike was puzzled but left the room with the phone in tow. A few minutes later he was back.  
  
"I told the bit that I couldn't wake you and it was better if she called tomorrow. She was worried. Why don't you want to speak to her?" he asked carefully.   
  
She turned away and shrank into the mattress. He sighed loudly and lay down next to her, spooning her body with his own. Buffy leaned back into his touch. He buried his lips in her tangled hair and ran his hand across her waist. After a few minutes of this he ventured to speak.  
  
"Tell me"  
  
The former Slayer closed her eyes and spoke in a barely audible voice.  
  
"Its just that... Its just that I don't think that I can be her sister again. I left Dawnie, I abandoned her even when she begged me not to go"  
  
"She doesn't blame you luv. She understands why you needed to turn yourself in" he said soothingly.   
  
"No. My mother trusted me to take care of her and I failed. You raised Dawn, you were there when she needed me. You were the one to sacrifice and keep her safe. I can't come into her life now because I know deep inside that I don't deserve her. I don't deserve her and she doesn't need me anymore" she whispered brokenly.  
  
He shifted his body so that he was looking at her. His blue eyes shone with perfect understanding.  
  
"Buffy, enough. You suffered more than enough. Fate or plain bloody bad luck kept you away from your sister but you didn't leave her. You trusted us to watch out for her and we did. She is everything you could ever want: intelligent, committed, loyal. She is a great wife and she will make and excellent mommy. I know that she still needs you, especially now that her life is about to change so radically. You can be there for her now" he concluded earnestly.   
  
Buffy regarded him through her tears and sniffed loudly.  
  
"Okay"  
  
"Right then. You'll talk to her when she calls tomorrow. Probably talk to her hubby too"  
  
" Oh God. I really can't imagine Dawn as a grown-up and married woman. Is the guy nice?"  
  
"Steve? He is a right steady chap. Didn't bat an eyelash when he learned of the things that go bump in the night. Said that part of him always knew. Angel likes him, always calls him Connor though"  
  
"That's weird. Is she happy?"  
  
"Very. Her doc doesn't think that she should be traveling this late in the pregnancy. There is also the fact that she got a little bit diabetic. You know Dawn and her hyper-sweet 'inventions'"  
  
"She is still making those?"   
  
"Yep, and Steve is expected to eat every single one. On a related matter, what do you want to do about dinner. It's kinda late but I bet there are still some places open"  
  
"Do you mind if I stay? I mean you can go... I'm sure that there are things you need to do... people you need to see" her words took on a second meaning.  
  
His lips curled in an irrepressible grin. Apparently her jealous streak had not been curved in all these years.  
  
"No love. I'm all yours" he said evenly  
  
Unguarded relief lit her face and her chin rose a confident notch.  
  
"So you haven't...?" she ventured   
  
"About as much as you I guess" he replied truthfully  
  
Dark shadows crossed her eyes and she wilted noticeably. A stab of sorrow settled in his gut but he gazed at her adoringly  
  
"Its over love. It will never happen again" he promised quietly.  
  
She nodded almost imperceptibly, numbed into stillness by painful memories. When she spoke her words were raw.  
  
"I...can't talk about it yet. I'm sorry"   
  
He saw that she was beginning to retreat into herself once more. He wouldn't let her.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
"Nothing, nothing that happened, nothing that they did to you in there could ever change what I feel for you. To me you are still my Buffy and nothing can touch that"  
  
Tears welled in her eyes once more but she accepted the truth of his words and the gift of his devotion. Ten years ago she had refused and belittled his love. Now it was a lifeline to her tortured and tried spirit.  
  
Of the many bitter lessons that life had inflicted on her there was one sweetness. She was blessed with one great and constant love.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: I am aware of the mushiness in this chapter but I guess it can't all be bucketfuls of angst. On the other hand what do you think of the D/C pairing? I just couldn't see sweet and whining Dawn with anyone but Angel's son (he doesn't know of his supernatural parentage but he senses something which may or may not be addressed in the story). I got to warn everyone that this story will get darker. You have an inkling of what I'm talking about with this chapter. Feel free to stop reading if this is not your thing. To everyone else, please read and review. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
After their emotional exchange, Spike suggested a long hot bath. Buffy agreed. The vampire  
  
quickly prepared the bathroom and delivered a half a dozen shopping bags filled with clothing  
  
that he'd picked out for her. Buffy was grateful that she didn't have to wear her crumpled suit  
  
much longer.  
  
As soon as he stepped out of the door she removed the skirt and blouse and laid them out on a  
  
chair. In her state issued underwear, she walked towards the adjoining bathroom.  
  
Spike had made it special. The porcelain tub brimmed with warm vanilla scented water and  
  
pink rose petals. Deep crimson candles covered every surface and gave the room a cozy, warm  
  
glow. He had remembered to provide her favorite chamomile shampoo and moisturizing soap.   
  
A fluffy white towel hung on a low peg next to a blue chenille bathrobe.  
  
It was clear that the room had been carefully prepared to suit her tastes. She was moved by the  
  
fact that he'd gone through so much trouble especially since she'd missed baths so much during  
  
her incarceration. Getting clean in prison was an awkward , humiliating experience much like  
  
everything else.  
  
Buffy sank gratefully into the calming water. The sweet smell of vanilla rose to meet her and  
  
she could feel it penetrating her skin to erode the remnants of cheap soap. She closed her eyes  
  
and let the sensation take her away...  
  
***  
  
A few meters away, Spike set the phone back on its cradle. He'd just gotten off the phone with  
  
Giles. The Watcher had not been aware of Buffy's release date as he'd been on a retreat for the  
  
council. As expected, he had wanted to get on a plane immediately but Spike managed to  
  
persuade him to stay put knowing that it would overwhelm Buffy. Giles had reluctantly agreed  
  
but would call again tomorrow to speak to her. Spike conceded.  
  
It wasn't like her was trying to deny Buffy contact with any of the Scoobies but he sensed that  
  
she needed to take things very slowly and carefully. She needed to be shielded for now.  
  
She'd been through hell already.  
  
The Slayer's veiled revelation had affected him to the core. He'd been aware of the possibility  
  
but had trusted that Buffy's physical strength would make up for her vulnerable position of  
  
prisoner. Apparently, her emotional state had weighed heavily against her.  
  
The vampire sighed and sank down into his sofa. What had happened to the woman he loved  
  
went against nature itself. Buffy was a Slayer and therefore endowed with not only the physical  
  
attributes of a warrior but also the self confidence to face whatever beastie challenged her. A  
  
Slayer had to believe that she could overcome formidable odds. For five long years, Buffy  
  
Summers had trusted herself and her ability.  
  
Her last decade had apparently eroded her confidence and planted bitter self doubt in her soul.   
  
Spike did not remember a lot about souls but knew that they could be weighed down so much  
  
that they crushed permanently. He feared that this was the case.  
  
***  
  
Next Morning.  
  
Her eyes opened at 5:55 a.m. just like they had on countless mornings for a decade. The familiar  
  
feeling of dread settled in her belly at having to start another day as an incarcerated felon. Then  
  
she remembered.  
  
Relief washed over Buffy. She was free and in Spike's house . She had him back in her life.   
  
She had her life back.  
  
Buffy stretched lazily and molded her body into the soft mattress. She was wearing a soft cotton  
  
nightshirt with tiny blue flowers printed on the fabric. The cuffs and V neck were etched in lace.   
  
It was the most feminine thing that she had in years.  
  
Close inspection of the two shopping bags that Spike had presented her with revealed a variety  
  
of stylish clothing that she favored for its modern cut. Spike had guessed what she would like  
  
very well.   
  
Buffy indulged in a quick shower and dressed in a simple ice blue sweater and velvet jeans.   
  
Black suede boots added to the outfit. Buffy completed the look by tying her long hair in a  
  
ponytail that fell down to her waist. She never had her hair this long before but Spike seemed to  
  
like it.  
  
She was ready by 7:30 but she did not want to wake up Spike. Her recent past had taught her to  
  
be patient but she did not have long to wait until the vampire knocked on the door and asked to  
  
come in.  
  
He was surprised to see her dressed.  
  
"Up so early? I figured you would sleep in"  
  
She shrugged carelessly. "I guess I'm an early riser. We used to have first count a six thirty and  
  
breakfast at seven"  
  
Spike was silent. When he spoke his voice was troubled.  
  
"Why didn't you come down?"he asked quietly.  
  
She froze as realization dawned on her...It had not occurred to her that she could leave the room  
  
at her own will. The choice wasn't even part of her reality anymore.  
  
Vampire and Slayer regarded each other wordlessly, becoming aware just how difficult it was all  
  
going to be.  
  
Author's note: Sorry for the long delay. I promise to write in a more timely manner. Please  
  
R&R. It really does help. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Eight and a half years ago.  
  
If losing your freedom was hell then there were definite degrees of agony. Buffy Summers had  
  
just descended into the lowest rungs.  
  
Her assigned cell at the Security Housing Unit was roughly 8 by 10 feet with glaring white  
  
concrete walls and fluorescent lighting. There were no windows to the outside.  
  
Buffy's sharp eyes took in the wall mounted bunk with its drab grey bedding laid out at the foot.   
  
There was also a mounted table with a metal chair screwed into the floor. On a corner sat the  
  
customary toilet/sink stainless steel combination.  
  
The cell's entrance was sealed by a heavy metal door with a handcuff/tray slot. A narrow glass  
  
and mesh covered window would allow the staff to look inside at all times.  
  
Her new quarters were devoid of anything that could be construed as comfortable or humane. It  
  
was cold and depressingly colorless. Buffy imagined spending her years within its walls , devoid  
  
of sunshine and human contact until she would gradually go insane.  
  
After her escorts sealed her inside she sat on the bare mattress and let her head drop. Inside her  
  
a silent war was waged between conscience and spirit. The Slayer wanted to flee and forget all  
  
about this. The woman knew that she had to stay because it would find her no matter how far  
  
she ran. She deserved this no matter how awful it got. She knew that Katrina Silver's tomb was  
  
colder and darker.  
  
***  
  
For some reason clocks were not allowed in the SHU so Buffy was never certain of the time that  
  
the guards would come for her ½ hour "recreation period". Whenever it was, she would be  
  
patted down, cuffed and led into the empty concrete yard. Her chains would be removed and she  
  
would be allowed to walk about freely within sight of the guard. If it was sunny she would jog a  
  
little and then sit down to bask in the only sunlight of her day. When it was raining she would  
  
stand and let the drops course freely through her body. She always had the option of staying  
  
indoors during bad weather but she could not deny herself the few minutes away from her  
  
stifling cell. The only other time that she was let out was during her weekly shower as her  
  
visitation rights had yet to be approved.  
  
On her first appointed "shower day" in the SHU she was ordered to place her toiletries in a clear  
  
plastic bag that she slid across the slot to be inspected by the guards. After the bag was searched  
  
she was to maneuver her hands through the slot while facing into the cell so that the handcuffs  
  
would be locked onto her wrists. When she was secured the door was opened and she was  
  
patted and taken out of the cell while flanked by two male guards. One carried the plastic bag  
  
that contained her shampoo, soap and allotted towel.  
  
Unlike in General Population, the SHU did not have communal shower rooms but highly visible  
  
shower cabinets in the middle of the officer pod.  
  
When she saw this she refused to continue. The cabinets had glass doors with small frosted  
  
panels in the middle that would conceal very little from the view of the 5 or so guards within the  
  
pod.  
  
It was too much. She had resigned herself to life in a cage, being chained and lead around like a  
  
dangerous animal. But to lose the little dignity she had left by being made to display her body to  
  
anyone that cared to look..  
  
Her hands were restrained so she used her legs. The guards reacted immediately as she managed  
  
to keep her balance through a series of well-placed kicks to the growing cadre of security staff.  
  
The loud fog horn alarm was sounded and the cells were automatically sealed to avoid any  
  
further insurrection. Through the deafening noise the Slayer leaped onto a metal table and  
  
aimed a levered kick that knocked down three guards. Adrenaline coursed through her body.   
  
The exhilaration of finally fighting back after repressing the urge for so long was heady. She felt  
  
like herself again.  
  
Suddenly a searing, tearing pain exploded in her lower back. Buffy turned around to face a tall,  
  
towering guard with glistening eyes holding a buzzing electric prod. He smiled nonchalantly as  
  
he tipped the instrument towards her chest and she knew no more.   
  
***  
  
She could not open her eyes for the next two days. The lids seemed to be weighed down and she  
  
could not manage even a flutter. Her brain felt cocooned in a thick haze that kept awareness  
  
away no matter how hard she tried. It was hours before she understood that she was lying across  
  
a thin mattress with a loose spring that dug painfully into her left hip. She shifted slightly to  
  
relieve the pressure and realized that her arms, legs and torso were strapped to the bed. Buffy  
  
moaned weakly and tried to turn her head to the side but her neck muscles were frozen in place.   
  
A sharp prick thrust into her upper right arm and felt a burning liquid invading her body. Within  
  
seconds the haze had thickened even further and her thoughts simply faded into nothingness.   
  
Helpless and completely ignorant of what was going on, she allowed herself to fall into the abyss  
  
of deep sleep once more.  
  
***  
  
It was during this time that her dreams were at their vividness. She dreamt of her mother and  
  
Giles. Dawn and her loyal friends. She relieved her most memorable fights and her more  
  
challenging foes. She dreamt of her sixteenth birthday and Angel's touch. The pain and  
  
remorse of losing Riley when she needed him the most. And him. She felt his cool fingers  
  
coursing her skin. His sweetly invading presence firing all the cells of her body. The look in his  
  
eyes when he understood that he could not save her from herself.  
  
But dreams could not protect her from reality when she was allowed to come out of her  
  
Trazadone induced stupor. What awaited her was truly the nightmare.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: Thank you sooo much for all your kind reviews especially when my posting  
  
habits leave a lot to be desired. As for your questions regarding the fact that our heroine seems  
  
to have been abandoned by her friends. There is a reason that will become clearer in the next  
  
few chapters. For one thing she doesn't have any visitation privileges at the moment and for the  
  
other... lets just say things are about to get rougher for the Slayer. The guard that managed to  
  
take her down during her recent insurrection will play a large part... On an unrelated matter Faith  
  
will be making an appearance soon enough and she and B will be doing some bonding. 


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: This chapter is a bit graphic and a lot like that one scene between Spike and  
  
Buffy that we would all like to forget. If this is not your cup of tea, feel free to skip it as I will refer to it lightly in the next chapter.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Although her natural constitution was on par with her Slayerhood, she was still highly  
  
susceptible to the regiment of psycho tropic drugs that they had put her on. Weeks later, when  
  
she was finally returned to her cell, her eyes were jaundiced and her upper body was seized and  
  
wrecked by constant tremors.  
  
Further changes were also apparent in her demeanor. She no longer held her head up or even  
  
elevated her gaze from the floor. Her shoulders slumped and she looked much smaller and  
  
fragile.  
  
Indeed she was much more vulnerable. Due to her violent outburst, she was now deemed a  
  
'clinical case' and prescribed the meds to keep her condition under control. If she refused she  
  
would be put on five point restraints and given the drugs intravenously.  
  
Faced with such a prospect, she docilely consumed whatever they gave her and endured the  
  
effects on her body. The damage that she had caused both the correction officers and the prison  
  
itself impacted heavily upon the treatment that she was given. The guards now went out of their  
  
way to make things as difficult as possible for her. She was moved to an even smaller cell where the temperature was particularly stifling and the faucet dripped. Her CD player was confiscated and her visits were indefinitely postponed. Buffy bore all of this without complaint knowing that there was little she could do to change it.  
  
The sweltering heat coupled with the dry monotony of her days made her understand the term  
  
hard time. She who had once existed in a social whirl of parties, dances and dates went days  
  
without uttering a word. Sometimes the silence was so oppressive that she would start to sing to herself. Only the threat of even higher dosages would keep her silent.  
  
Days molded into weeks and then months. The only bright spot was that her visiting privileges  
  
were finally approved but by then Dawn had started college in the North and she could only  
  
come during breaks. Willow and Tara alternated with Xander and Anya until the latter couple  
  
moved to Iowa. Giles returned to England but wrote to her and came to visit during the  
  
holidays. Spike never came as all visits were conducted in the morning. He sent money  
  
regularly along with pictures of Dawn and the paperback novels that were her only source of  
  
entertainment.  
  
Slowly, she began to believe that she would live through it.  
  
On the second month of her sixth year in prison she was awakened by a crashing noise coming  
  
from the very end of the cell block. She immediately sprung from her bed and pressed her face  
  
against the narrow glass window in the door but could see nothing out of the ordinary. The  
  
Slayer reached with her still-heightened senses but the source of the noise remained a mystery.   
  
Minutes later she returned to her bed and convinced herself that it had been a dream. Sleep was  
  
slowly enveloping her once again when the door to her cell was unlocked and a tall figure  
  
stepped inside. She started in her bunk and held the sheet against her thin state issue nightshirt.   
  
Her eyes blinked painfully against the bright light that hit her on the face. She heard a vibrating clatter in the floor beneath her as a set of chains landed on the concrete.  
  
"Put them on and face the wall" came the sharp order.   
  
Buffy obediently closed the cuffs on her bare ankles and wrists. She stood facing the wall and  
  
felt the belly chain coil around her torso in tight fit that made her wince involuntarily. A cold chuckle emitted from the man behind her. Already used to such treatment she did not respond.  
  
"Nice and tight Summers, just like I know you will be"  
  
Startled, she turned her head sideways only to meet with strong, constricting fingers around her  
  
throat as a black nylon hood was pulled down over her face. She panicked and tried to set  
  
herself free as the hood was adjusted firmly in place and the barrel lock closed. The Slayer knew that the guards sometimes used these when they had to extract a dangerous prisoner from the cell but she had never been made to wear one. The total blackness and the sense of suffocation drove her nearly mad and she kicked and buckled like an angry horse. A painful side kick swung her legs from under her and she crumpled to the floor only to feel a crushing weight on her lower stomach as he mounted her. Buffy quivered under him and was still. Through the thick nylon she heard his voice.  
  
"I thought that there would be some spirit left in you. It makes it all that much more ...ahh...stimulating"   
  
A large cold hand slowly snaked under the nightshirt and drew the garment up. The Slayer held  
  
her breath as the hand continued its way up her thighs to the cheap white cotton panties and  
  
pulled down. She whimpered through the hood.  
  
"Shhh... pretty girl. Dirty... girl. Don't you know that no one is listening anymore? He stopped listening to you a long time ago"  
  
She tried to dislodge him but his weight was lead and the chains limited movement. Buffy heard  
  
the sound of a zipper as her knees were roughly pried open. Her efforts at freedom doubled only  
  
to meet with a heavy hand that clamped on her larynx until she felt dizzy and stilled.   
  
Aware of the futility of her resistance, she numbed her mind as he thrust and entered her  
  
violently. Burning through her insides like acid. Destroying the last tiny vestige of herself.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: I apologize to whoever did not like this. The identity of the perpetrator will be revealed on the next chapter although some of you may have already figured who he is by what  
  
he said. Please Review. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
The act, in it of itself, had been a violent, denigrating attack on a already tormented woman. In  
  
context, it was just one more step in a highly structured plan that had begun almost seven years  
  
ago when the Slayer willingly gave up her life in order to save the world and the personified  
  
Key. That single, unexpected measure had set the stage for all the players unbeknownst to her.   
  
Seconds only after her fatal plunge into a dimensional tear the plan had begun to take form. A  
  
small town preacher from Campbell County, Virginia received his first visitation from a non-  
  
corporeal being whose name preceded the written word. The entity spoke to the misogynist,  
  
cruel core of Caleb Black and promised the glory and power that he could not get from his tiny  
  
congregation. He accepted knowing full well the source of the deal. Thus, from then on all his  
  
actions had become part of a slowly spun web in which the Slayer to be caught and kept in.  
  
Caleb left Virginia for California. Almost upon arrival he applied to and was hired as a  
  
corrections officer in the California State Penitentiary for men. A few months later he asked to  
  
be transferred to Valley State. His request was first denied but when a few well-timed deaths  
  
made the situation ideal, he was moved to Chowchilla. A month after he had settled in his new  
  
station Inmate # 752937 was processed into the institution. Officer Black was more than ready  
  
for her.  
  
Buffy Summers arrived with her pain and her guilt into a place that no longer cared who she was  
  
or what she had done for the world. She was stripped of her name and her identity was slowly  
  
eroded away by the countless of indignities she was made to suffer. Caleb watched attentively  
  
as she lost bits of herself to a life behind bars.   
  
Eighteen months into a ten year sentence, a invisible Niebbla demon made its way inside the  
  
prison and ran amok in the General Population. The Slayer's protective instinct was activated  
  
and she faced the creature head on. Unfortunately for her the Niebbla had no form and existed  
  
by jumping form one body to the other. After a long drawn-out fight she managed to defeat it  
  
but since the perpetrator was never identified or understood she was assigned the full blame for  
  
the incident. She was relocated to the Security Housing Unit where Officer Black had recently  
  
been assigned to. The web tightened even further.  
  
Of course, the random Niebbla demon attack and the Slayer's unfortunate change in status had  
  
already been clearly delineated by the First. All the carefully prepared steps worked together to  
  
bring Buffy under Caleb's direct control.  
  
The former preacher assumed that he would begin to exert his power over the fallen Slayer but  
  
aside from the initial incident concerning Buffy's reaction to the showering facilities, he had no  
  
further contact with her. He questioned his master on this but was told to simply wait for orders.   
  
As the months went on he grew impatient. Buffy Summers had become an obsession for him.   
  
He fixated on the way she conducted her life. His eyes followed her image on the monitor  
  
whenever she was led to and from her cell. He poured over any small observation written on  
  
her. Her inmate file found its way to his hands and he spend hours staring at her mug shot. The  
  
young woman she had been looking as shell-shocked as she must have felt. He savored all this  
  
little details as his anticipation built to a rolling climax. When the First finally indicated when  
  
and how he would proceed he was ecstatic and carefully counted the hours until he had her. For  
  
that was the next step in the plan.  
  
On the assigned night Caleb carefully tampered with the guards schedules to make sure that  
  
there would be no one else patrolling that particular cell block at that moment. He was cautious  
  
enough to avoid being filmed as he entered the Slayer's cell or when he left it. The restraints  
  
and hood had long since become part of his private cache so that they would not be missed even  
  
if someone checked. Every detail had been attended to.  
  
So on that terrible night he followed his instructions and his urges and plundered the Slayer's  
  
body and soul. Years of frustrated fantasies culminated with each painful thrust and her muffled  
  
cries were like perfect music to him. When he was spent, he removed her chains and hood  
  
allowing her an unobstructed look at her assailant.  
  
Tears and blood from an injured lip marred her face. Caleb stood over her downed form and  
  
smiled.   
  
"And a man will choose...any wickedness but the wickedness of a woman..." he began almost  
  
nonchalantly.   
  
The Slayer gasped at the sound.  
  
"Yet there is no sweeter sin, is there?" his voice had taken on a taunting tone. "This is only the  
  
beginning. You can consider it as part of your penance for the many sins that you have incurred.   
  
And there is a lot that you must pay"  
  
With that he left the cell and locked her inside once more. The Slayer painfully crawled to the  
  
darkened space beneath her bed and hugged her knees while biting her lips to keep from  
  
screaming. She knew that there wasn't anybody listening anymore.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: Hey...only two reviews and a 100+ hits? Am I sucking so much lately that you don't want to hurt my feelings? I promise that I will try to write tons faster...see I even gave you two chapters in as many days. Now you gotta do your part and...review. -Jill 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
  
Present.  
  
The Slayer and her vampire lay asleep in their four-poster bed undisturbed by the bright sunshine  
  
behind their heavy damask curtains. Although their bed was quite spacious, the two slept on top  
  
of each other. Her head was supported by his chest and his legs were wrapped around her thighs.   
  
The creamy satin sheets in a tangle between them. Neither seemed incommoded by the posture  
  
but slept peacefully on, relishing the few hours away from the nighttime terrors of Los Angeles.   
  
Fighters both, they did not renege on their duties but also treasured the life they had away from  
  
the struggle. It was a love made more precious by its precarious nature.   
  
Faith and Angel had not meant for things to go this way. When Faith had gone to join the LA  
  
group she had seen to fill a void left by Buffy's absence from the world. At first the two seemed  
  
to be wary of each other and attempted to fight the growing attraction between them. The  
  
specter of the last relationship Angel had with a Slayer was still present. Eventually, as their  
  
physical abilities kept placing them in similar perils, they began to see each other in a different  
  
light. And so when Angel's soul was finally anchored to his body they decided to take a chance.   
  
So far it had been worth the gamble.  
  
Angel's cell phone emitted a soft buzz from its place on the night table. Almost instantly the  
  
vampire's hand shot out. The phone was his emergency line queued to any disasters of  
  
apocalyptic magnitude or the birth of Dawn and Steve's baby.   
  
"Yes, what is it?" he answered without hesitation.  
  
The voice on the other line responded in kind and quickly related the information. Angel listened  
  
intently while his eyes peered over his now awake lover who looked on questioningly.   
  
"I understand. We will do what's necessary" he promised calmly and ended the call.  
  
The vampire replaced the phone back on the table and turned to Faith keeping his eyes carefully  
  
adverted.   
  
"It seems that there is some kind of irregularity that has been detected around Sunnydale, a type  
  
of transcendental energy distortion that cannot be explained away. I think its best if we go check  
  
it out"  
  
The Slayer stretched and shook her curls in disarray. Her hand traveled up Angel's leg. "'kay.   
  
I've no problems visiting old stomping grounds. But there is something you're not telling me"   
  
Angel's gaze rose to meet hers. As usual Faith wanted it straight and hard.  
  
"Unfortunately, the last time a similar condition was detected the hellmouth was reopened. The  
  
source fears the worst" the vampire stated solemnly.  
  
"Right. Well, shouldn't we call Spike so he can keep his feelers out for anything weird and to tell  
  
him we're crashing?"  
  
Angel shook his head. "I was specifically warned from telling him. It seems that the  
  
disturbance is centered around his house and until we can ascertain what it is its best if we don't  
  
spread the word"  
  
"You don't think that it could be coming from his end? Spike's been one of the white hatters for  
  
years" Faith said as she looked for the black tank top that she'd worn to bed.  
  
"I doubt but we shouldn't take any chances"  
  
Faith agreed and began to get things ready for their drive to Sunnydale.  
  
***  
  
The dark wine Chrysler sedan stopped in front of the small unassuming house. Its lone occupant  
  
let the tinted windows roll down and peered at the side bedroom window with dark glistening  
  
eyes.   
  
Within those walls the vampire was convinced the he could protect her from the life she had  
  
lived in for ten years. He did not realize the sad irony of his actions. Soon the second pair  
  
would join them and it could all begin.  
  
Caleb started the car. All he needed to do was wait as the pieces slowly fell in place.   
  
Eventually, everything would be ideal for the final campaign. The future was glorious and  
  
completely theirs.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: Thank you ever so much for all the reviews. I even appreciate the flames but I  
  
am going to respond to them. I know that I seem to be dwelling on all the torture and angst (like  
  
a popular, passionate film that I will not be mentioning) but I am trying to build some kind of  
  
precedent for the radical focus that this fic is going to take. The story has so far been about a  
  
good person being caught in a terrible soul-depleting situation for a decade. Is it possible to  
  
survive that and remain relatively the same person you where with the same ideals and value  
  
system? I doubt it and this story will reflect as such. So be prepared for a Slayer that you did  
  
not expect as the Scoobies slowly assemble to face the latest threat. Hope you like it and keep  
  
on reviewing. - Jill 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
  
England- Wicca Coven  
  
The sweet tang of aged incense permeated her pores to settle inside her leaving its comforting  
  
trail through all the cells in her body. Willow closed her eyes and let the familiar sensation  
  
overtake her senses and center her magick. She was only performing a simple bind but lately her  
  
power had been taking unsettling peaks that left her drained for days. Tara had insisted that she  
  
take the necessary precautions and she had willingly obliged. The rest of the coven was also  
  
growing concerned with what they perceived to be a "source" problem. It seemed that Willow's  
  
gift was stemming not only from the traditional magicks but also from volatile and unfamiliar  
  
origins. She had to be very careful whenever she performed any spells and so she took all the  
  
additional precautions they required of her.  
  
The sacred power circle was lined with green candles in all the four directions. Pure white salt  
  
acted as a protective barrier against any outside intrusions. Within the circle sat Willow cross  
  
legged and directing the fumes from the cauldron placed in front of her. The smoke traveled in a  
  
single line that would eventually curve into a circle to signify a successful binding. The witch  
  
observed the smoke attentively for any irregularities but everything seemed to be in order. The  
  
white substance had begun its expected curl when it suddenly turned black and acrid. Willow  
  
jumped back but did not leave the circle. Whatever it was she had to contain it before it spread.  
  
"Revealeth"she commanded  
  
The black smoke left the confines of the salt barrier. Willow was on her feet immediately as she  
  
watched the blackness spread and... begin to take form.  
  
At first it looked like a large animal but then it took on a clearly demonic visage. Willow gasped  
  
at the horrible vision before her.   
  
"What are you?" her voice was tremulous and young.   
  
The demon did not respond and merely looked on with knowing yellow eyes. The witch peered  
  
into the glowing pools. In them she saw what was to come.  
  
A scream tore from her throat. The image faded and she sank to her knees terrified. What she  
  
had seen... was truly horrendous. Quickly, she ran out of the room in search of her lover. She  
  
had to tell her. They needed to return to Sunnydale. Now.  
  
***  
  
Des Moines- Iowa  
  
It was hard to explain what had her on edge. Business was doing well enough to placate her  
  
capitalistic spirit and she had already done her taxes. It was spring so Xander's business was  
  
already picking up and he had quite a few lucrative contracts coming up. They were on time  
  
with their mortgage and their son was doing well in school. Their baby girl was already walking  
  
and besides from a slight pointing of the ears there were no visible signs of her colorful  
  
parentage. Everything was well and on track. Yet, the uneasiness would not be abated.   
  
She had told Xander about it and he chucked it to stress and they'd made love. Afterwards as  
  
she lay sated and relaxed in his arms she wondered if the feeling was some sort of remnant from  
  
her demon days. Maybe something was going on in the current hellmouth that was giving her  
  
the weird vibes.   
  
But if this was the case... Did she really want to know? She and Xander had left that life behind  
  
a long time ago. It had been a hard thing to do but eventually they had realized that without  
  
Buffy there was little tying them to Sunnydale. Spike, Faith, Angel and co. were sufficient to  
  
take care of any rising threats and after all the Harrises were only human. It was better to leave  
  
the world-saving to the pros. The decision to leave had made much more sense when Anya  
  
discovered that she was pregnant. They said goodbye to the Scoobies and moved taking little  
  
besides their memories both good and bad.   
  
It had taken quite a while for Xander to understand Buffy's decision to turn herself in. For more  
  
than six years the Slayer had been Xander's bright beacon that guided him and inspired him and  
  
ultimately changed him for the better. When she was sentenced it was if the purpose had gone  
  
from his life. He lost a little of his soul but Anya understood. She knew that Xander loved her  
  
but what he felt for Buffy was also very strong and so her pain affected him greatly. Anya   
  
helped him to accept the Slayer's decision and to support her even if it was from afar. Still, as  
  
the years passed and Buffy's absence became more and more bearable he had learned to live  
  
with it. He and Anya grew closer and eventually moved away from the rest of the group. It was  
  
the normal thing to do.  
  
So now after ten years of perfect normalcy what could possibly be wrong? Anya Harris had not  
  
lived over a thousand years without learning to listen to her instincts. Tonight she was going to  
  
tell Xander that they needed to get in touch with whatever passed for the current Sunnydale  
  
gang.  
  
***  
  
Greenwich, Connecticut  
  
She'd gotten in the habit of taking sporadic naps throughout the day. Her husband said it was  
  
typical last trimester exhaustion. Dawn knew that it was sugar withdrawal.  
  
Whatever it was she spent most of her time in either their bed or the living room sofa. This was  
  
a good thing especially that at 8 ½ months she was the size of a small whale and could not move  
  
as easily as she once did. Still, she was enjoying this time and knew that what was coming  
  
would be even be better.   
  
Dawn was truly happy in all things except one. She wanted to be with her sister. Steve had  
  
consulted with her doctor and he did not recommend any cross country travel until after the baby  
  
was born. The only contact she would have with Buffy would be over the phone.  
  
Buffy. A dull pain settled in her heart whenever she thought of her sister. Sweet, brave Buffy  
  
who had done the right thing even when it destroyed her. Dawn remembered those terrible days  
  
following her sentencing. They had all acted as they were sleepwalking through a routine.   
  
Willow, Tara, Anya, Xander and Giles had tried to keep Scooby gang going even without their  
  
leader. When things got too dangerous, they were joined by the newly freed Faith but she could  
  
not fill the original Slayer's shoes especially in their heart.   
  
Dawn had eventually turned to Spike for comfort and he became her guardian. She'd gone to  
  
live with her father for a time and Spike joined Angel in LA to keep an eye out for her.   
  
Afterwards he bought a house in Sunnydale and she'd gone with him until she was accepted in  
  
UCONN. She wanted him to move to the east with her but understood that he could not live that  
  
far away from Buffy. She loved him for that.  
  
Now Buffy was back and Dawn wondered what it would mean for them. Would Buffy find some  
  
happiness now? Or would things be just as hard as they had always been for her?  
  
Dawn prayed it would be the former but she knew better.  
  
TBC.  
  
Author's note: Before you ask, Giles is in the next chapter. He will be moving the plot along.   
  
Faith and Angel finally get to Sunnydale and we finally find out how Buffy Summers has really  
  
changed. Please read and review. 


	12. Chapter 12

They made it to their destination a few minutes before midnight. Faith parked the car next to  
  
Spike's late model and killed the engine. Her passenger had fallen asleep. Angel kept  
  
increasingly irregular hours and could be counted to fall asleep even when most vampires were  
  
coming awake. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that his significant other was a human  
  
woman and not a much better suited vampiress. Not that it bothered Faith, her life wasn't  
  
exactly anywhere approaching normal.  
  
The Slayer looked on at the house appreciatively. It was simple and understated but it held quite  
  
a charm for her. It was a testament of what a man in love, or rather what a vampire in love  
  
would do for his mate. William the Bloody had settled down. He had the house in the suburbs  
  
to prove it. All this he had done for Buffy even if she wasn't a part of it yet. It said a lot for  
  
vampiric loyalty and love.  
  
Which she was counting on.  
  
The vampire next to her stirred and blinked his eyes open. A yawn was followed by a rueful  
  
smile that warmed her heart. There was passion in their relationship but also a warmth that the  
  
Slayer had never experienced before.   
  
"Should we knock or just knock the door down?" Faith asked softly  
  
"Lets try politeness. Don't want to piss of blondie-bear anymore than we have to" the vampire  
  
replied.  
  
They exited the car together and headed towards the entranceway. The two figures clad in black  
  
carried themselves as if the pitch black night was a familiar terrain. Faith pressed her hand  
  
against the fragile looking doorbell. Angel smirked at the feminine looking device. You really  
  
could not take the Victorian out of Spike even if you tried.  
  
The door burst open a few seconds later. Spike's unruly curls were breaking havoc on his line of  
  
vision and he had to slick them back before focusing on his 'guests'. He grimaced.  
  
"Don't you people ever call? What the bloody are ya doing here in the middle of the night?"  
  
grumbled the pissed-off vamp.   
  
"Nice to see you too Spike. Didn't know that vampires were now considering midnight an  
  
unsuitable time" Angel replied mockingly.  
  
"Had an early morning today... not that's any of your business"  
  
The two vampires stared at each other as if trying to size one another as it was their custom.   
  
Faith rolled her eyes at them and stepped inside.  
  
She felt it instantly... her one and only counterpart in the world was here. Buffy.  
  
It was Buffy essence...but it was somehow heavier...darker. Faith turned to Spike questioningly.   
  
The vampire sighed loudly, as it was to be expected one Slayer could always sense the other. He  
  
could bet that Buffy had picked her up too.  
  
Bloody hell, he so not wanted this for her now. She did not need the complication that was her  
  
ex-ally and now replacement. He certainly did not need her ex-lover anywhere around either.  
  
Well, there was little he could do about it now.  
  
"Yes Faith, she is upstairs" he admitted stonily.   
  
The Slayer looked at him incredulously. "But how? Her sentence was for ten years"  
  
"Which she served to the last second. She's been a free woman since yesterday morning"   
  
Angel finally caught on. His eyes shifted from confusion to something else. "Ten years... its  
  
already been ten years" he stated quietly.  
  
"Yes. Now she needs time to get re-adjusted so whatever you need from me is gonna have to  
  
wait till she's better. I'm sure you can handle it" Spike said breezily as he shooed them out the  
  
door.   
  
Faith wouldn't budge but stared at the hallway leading to the rooms. "What does it mean?"  
  
"What does 'what' mean?" Spike continued his efforts of dismissing them from his home.  
  
"The disturbance that was picked up. That I am picking up now"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"She is here but there is something... It doesn't feel like her.." the Slayer turned towards the  
  
hallway almost as if she was being pulled.  
  
Spike blocked her midway. Buffy did so not need this right now. "Listen bint, you and the  
  
wanker can get back in your vehicle and out of here. Whatever beastie you are chasing now, I  
  
don't give a damn. Buffy can't handle it and I don't want her to get stressed over it" he stated  
  
adamantly but Faith ignored him as her focus was solely on the darkened hallway.  
  
"It's here. In her"  
  
She wasn't asleep. She felt like she'd slept through a decade and she in a way had. Buffy sat in  
  
her bed. The figure standing before her was familiar...in fact it was herself.  
  
Her mirror image was dressed in the same gauzy nightgown. They were so similar but the Other  
  
was stronger, she had not suffered like Buffy. She had not been belittled and violated. She had  
  
always been free and strong.   
  
Buffy understood that this Other deserved more than she. Officer Caleb Black had shown her  
  
that, he'd taught her that. It was a honor that this greater being had chosen to take her form on  
  
earth. He'd told her this and she believed it because his will was her own. Because she no  
  
longer questioned his beliefs or his commands.  
  
The Other vanished into the darkness after relaying her message. Buffy remained still. Ten  
  
years ago she had been sentenced to a nightmare because a terrible mistake that had taken  
  
someone's life. Now she had been ordered to take another.  
  
Unfortunately it was no longer in her to question the First either.  
  
TBC.  
  
Sooo sorry for the delay. I had a long writer's block. Please R&R if you would like me to  
  
continue this or just let it die. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
  
Council of Watchers - England  
  
The reports had started coming in a few hours ago. They were written in a variety of languages,  
some were only a few broken lines on the 'incidents', some detailed the lives of the victims up until that point as if clues could be found there. Rupert Giles had been pouring over the reports to find signs of the perpetrators. He did not need to find the link between the girls. They had all been identified as Slayer candidates.  
  
Somewhere in the cavernous building, the head of the council, Quentin Travers, was debating whether or not to assemble the remaining candidates in one secure area until the threat could be assessed and eliminated. It seemed to be the best recourse but also a very drastic one. Dozens of teenage girls would have to be taken out of their homes and told of their potential and the danger to their lives. Few people could take such a revelation in stride. His own Slayer had tried to at the beginning but in the end her calling had proven her own defeat.  
  
Buffy. Even thinking about her brought it own pangs.  
  
Giles set the reports aside and took out his hand-crafted leather wallet. He had only one picture there. The fading photograph was of a fifteen-year-old Buffy Summers taken sometime in the months before she became the Slayer. She was smiling in the picture in that sunshiny, carefree way that she had before her life got too painful for smiles. He had been given that picture along with her file after her first Watcher had been killed. He kept it as a reminder of the innocent girl that she'd been once upon a time. Giles had taken to wondering who that girl would have been without the gift/curse of Slayerhood. Would she have found her way and been happy? Would she had been a wife and a mother? Would she still have that smile? Those were questions that he could never answer for that woman and the possibility of that woman in Buffy Summers had died many years ago.  
  
Giles was not a man of regrets and what ifs. In his own life he had embraced the consequences of his decisions. He had come to expect them but Buffy was another matter entirely. She was his charge and the child he'd never had the heart to have. And he had led her down her path of terrible fate. He had not been strong enough to shield her and she'd taken all the falls that had slowly chipped away at that armor. Now fifteen years later from the happy, carefree girl in the picture he knew to his core that he had failed.  
  
The picture was not only a memento but also a type of penance. It was penance that paled in comparison to what she had gone through and would continue to go through. She was free now but he knew that there would still be pain for her. If the reports before him were any indication,  
the life of a Slayer had suddenly become even more difficult. The potential Slayers were being hunted, it would not be long before the hunters got to Faith and Buffy.  
  
Giles had already booked his passage to California. Willow and Tara would also be coming as the redheaded witch had experienced a strange disturbance of her magick that induced her to return home. Tara had been more reluctant to leave the coven since Willow still needed some extra support but Giles revelation on the murders of the potential Slayers had convinced her. They had been unaware that Buffy had been freed otherwise they would have come anyway. Giles told them that Spike had not wanted any of them in Sunnydale until Buffy was ready and he'd agreed but this was before he learned of the incidents. It would be best if everyone assembled to meet any possible emergencies.  
  
And besides he was certain that Buffy would need her people behind her once more. It was about time they were together again.  
  
Sunnydale, California  
  
Spike had finally gotten Faith to lay-off the "weird, metaphysical crap" as he'd called it. Whatever vibes Faith was getting would have to wait until the morning to be explored. He had checked on Buffy and found her sleeping peacefully. Faith and the poofter would have to content themselves to being vanished to the basement "guest" bedroom that was usually occupied by Clem when he was in town. Anyhow after the long drive they needed their sleep.  
  
After his guests were comfortable, Spike retired to his own room. Faith and Angel's presence complicated the situation further. He knew that Buffy would not care to have other people witness what she was currently going through. It was better to lick your wounds in solitude than with an audience no matter how much they cared. The vampire had decided to give his love all the time and space she needed to heal but now it seemed that it was not to be.  
  
Damn it seemed like nothing ever went right for them.  
  
Spike sighed loudly and drew his covers to his chest. What if the scoobies decided to join them? He had spoken to Giles and had managed to him to see the situation his way but he had not reached the witches or the Harrises. They could be on their way for all he knew.  
  
Bloody Hell.  
  
His eyes were getting heavier and heavier. He yawned and decided he would worry tomorrow. It would not do to be tired when he needed his energy the most.  
  
When he was asleep he dreamt of Buffy but this Buffy was not his. She had the same hair and body but her eyes were dead. He tried to reach her but she was too far away from him and surrounded by darkness. Spike could see her being consumed by it and he screamed to let her go but could only watch horrified as she gradually faded away into nothingness.  
  
TBC. 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Sunnydale

She was up before six again. Her internal clock would not let her rest any further but she still felt tired. No matter. She needed to think. The mission that she had been entrusted with warranted all her powers however little were left of them.

The One had been clear as to the role Buffy Summers was to play in her plans. The circumstances would be presented to the Slayer. All she needed to do was act but it would not be easy.

Nothing in her life had ever been but she could never question again. She had to accept and do as she was ordered.

She needed to kill Faith.

And Angel.

At six in the morning the vampire known a Spike started his day by making pancakes from scratch. He wasn't about to submit his lady to any of those packaged preparations and had even gotten real unadulterated maple syrup from Vermont. . Buffy deserved only the very best even if she had to settle for second best when it came to vampires.

Angel's presence had never been easy on Spike. The older vampire was always suave, sophisticated and ruthless. Spike struggled against his own nature and retained much of his humanity even as a killer. He accepted the reality of his own death and pitted himself knowing that it could spell the end for him. It wasn't about killing but about surviving and proving himself. It was always about proving himself.

Buffy had loved Angel. She had loved him so much that she'd given him the gift of her innocence. She had suffered his betrayal and found it in her to forgive him. Even when he left, she always had a place in her soul for him. Part of her would always be waiting for Angel.

Spike on the other hand was an afterthought. He was a convenient vampire to have around when one needed an extra hand to fight or to protect Dawn. And he had been satisfied with that, happy even. He had loved her quietly and without demands. The vampire had fought for her, killed for her and lived for her. When she was troubled his body had served her needs. Spike knew that Buffy did not love him. She might feel an attachment to him but it was not the passion that she'd felt for Angel and no matter what he did it wouldn't change.

When she left his life shattered but he had remained to pick up the pieces of hers. Again he struggled to take care of everything she'd left behind and tried to prove to himself that he was man enough to take care of his lady. Unfortunately, he didn't have the means so he'd gone to his sire for a handout. In the end Angel had saved the day. Spike just wasn't good enough.

He sighed into the bubbling pancake dough. Buffy was here as was Angel and all his insecurities rose to the surface. Faith was in the picture but something inside Spike told him that she, like him, was just simply convenient. What Angel and Buffy shared went beyond that and there was nothing he could do against it.

Sad and immersed in his thoughts he did not see her enter the kitchen. She had already changed into dark jeans and fitted black top with a deep V-neckline meant to be worn with something underneath. The top framed a face that was free of makeup except for the dark grey liner around her eyes. Her hair fell in a tight braid across her back that was held together with a silver clip. She looked beautiful but she didn't look like herself.

"Those smell real good"

He turned abruptly almost dropping the pan but managed to put it back safely. Embarrassed at his clumsiness, he smiled shyly and gave her a light kiss on her cheek.

"Did you get some rest?" his voice was soft and breathy. The Slayer nodded absentmindedly as she looked around the kitchen. She took in the various implements and little homey touches like the cat cookie jar (most likely a gift from Clem) and the Hershey chocolate cookbook that probably originated with Dawn. She also took in his attire. He was wearing his faded worn jeans and black tee with the hole on the sleeve. Over the clothing he wore a chef's apron with tiny bat designs (again probably Dawn or…Xander). Barefoot and with his hair mussed he looked adorable and her heart gave a slight jump.

"Yes, but I heard the doorbell last night. Did something happen?" She tried to sound innocent. Spike narrowed his eyes slightly. "No luv. Just the Poofster and his bint dropped by for an unexpected visit" He said evenly trying to gauge her reaction. She gave him none and simply nodded.

Her non- reaction was wrong. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was definitely something about Buffy. Faith's recalled words chilled him. There was something different in Buffy. Inside of her.

Instinctively he held his arms out and she walked into them. He breathed in her scent and felt her heartbeat. The chill in his soul warmed somehow and he knew that no matter what Faith had meant, he would never give up Buffy. He would rather not be alive.

TBC

Author's note: Yes, I finally wrote another chapter. I got a very nice comment that inspired me to finish this. It was just that I got really busy and have not seen another Buffy episode in such a long time that I seemed to have forgotten the characters somewhat. I hope that someone will be reading this and I hope that it's not too bad. Please review… Jill


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

LAX

The plane landed without smoothly into the brilliant Los Angeles morning. Its occupants began the process of getting their belongings together in order to exit the plane without delay. It had been a very long flight and they were looking forward to the inviting fresh Los Angeles air.

Willow yawned loudly as Tara rose from her seat to get her backpack from the luggage case. Giles was seated a few rows back and he too was getting ready to exit the plane.

Moments later as they waited for their bags to exit the carousel, the trio was engaged in a discussion of their plans. Giles had arranged for a condo to be leased to them for the duration of their stay. They did not want to intrude on Spike and Buffy. The watcher understood that it was best for the former slayer not to be overwhelmed with people. He wished they could take it slow but circumstances had played his hand. The new threat would likely involve Buffy at some point and he had to protect her. It was not that he didn't trust Spike to do his part. In fact, he was aware that the loyal vampire would fight for Buffy to his death. It was just that he rather be there for the girl he considered his daughter, even if he proved as ineffectual as he'd been in the past.

For her part, Willow was having similar thoughts. She felt guilty that she had neglected Buffy in favor of seeking help at the covenant. Tara had tried to convince her that this was what she needed to do but she knew that her actions had been selfish. When she saw Buffy she was going to ask for her forgiveness.

Sunnydale

Faith snored. She snored and she kicked and hogged the covers. Fortunately, Angel slept like the dead and was not aware of anything. Faith took it as a sign that they were suited for each other.

She pulled the sheets and blankets from the floor in an attempt to tidy up the place. Spike was a neat little vampire and everything had to be perfect.

Even though the room they got was in the basement level of the house it was very nice. The walls were painted a soft cream and offset the carved dark wood furniture. Pictures of Victorian landscapes peppered each of the wall and the en-suite bathroom.

Angel was taking a shower in said bathroom. Faith had already set his clothes for him on a velvet chair. She had felt awfully domestic as she did it but she secretly enjoyed taking care of him. Maybe in the past she would not have been caught dead doing anything like that but now it seemed satisfying. She felt a little like his wife.

That's what made it all the more difficult to be in this house where Angel's true love was currently residing. Buffy and Angel had been so enmeshed and connected. Faith often wondered what would have happened if Buffy had not been imprisoned. Would they have gotten back together? Did a part of them want it to happen still? She knew that she was torturing herself with these questions but she could not help it.

The water stopped running and minutes later she was gladdened by the sight of a wet –naked Angel emerging from his shower. The slayer felt the familiar pressure she always got when she saw him nude. He was so beautiful.

Angel, as per usual, sensed this and gave her a warm smile as he dried himself off and put on his clothes. Faith was already dressed in a knee length denim skirt and embroidered tank. Her hair was loose and curling about her shoulders. She was nearing thirty but was just as fresh faced as a teenager which was surprising considering the kind of life she'd led. She guessed that it was the slayer regeneration genes at work.

The vampire kissed her softly on the lips. Emboldened by the kiss they headed upstairs to see what fate had in store for them.

Somewhere outside Sunnydale

He awoke with an urge for HER. The faulty, human counterpart of the all-powerful evil and his slave. After four years of having his will with her almost daily, it was becoming rather inconvenient to have her so far apart. It was like her essence had seeped into his during those violent, brutal times that had entranced him. He wanted her as he knew her: docile and powerless. And yet hungry for the attention, for he was the only one in her little, barred world. Oh, but she was glorious in all her surrender as he took her again and again in the floor of her cell. Each encounter had served to shatter a little more of her so that only the exposed facade remained. She was more beautiful with her shattered soul.

The First had promised to let him have her once she'd fulfilled her purpose. It was taxing to have to wait until then. Maybe he really didn't have to.

Why should he wait? She was already his and he wanted her now. He would have her now.

TBC.

Next episode: The torture returns alongside my beloved angst. Thank you for the reviews and I do apologize for the snail pace but I am trying to complete my Masters while working full-time. I do have one question to the readers though. Do you think Buffy could ever overcome everything that has happened to her? I am not tied to the idea of a happy ending and I really don't see how she can be saved without decades of therapy. Would you hate me if it ends badly for her? - Jill


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

When Faith and Angel exited the basement through the kitchen door they encountered the rather touching picture of Buffy in her faithful vampire's arms. Faith smiled. Angel coughed loudly.

The younger vampire looked upon his grandsire challengingly but did not let the Slayer go. Buffy opened her eyes and stared blankly at the 'other' vampire/slayer couple.

It was Faith that broke the silence.

"B… what's up?" she asked innocently.

The blond Slayer stepped away from Spike and zeroed on her prey. Her eyes narrowed slightly and her voice had an edge to it.

"Doing very well considering where I've been. But it must have been harder for you. I was relieved that you so kindly took the mantle… among other things."

Faith's smile froze on her face and she looked away. Buffy was always good a making her feel so second-rate. But she wouldn't let her have it so easily. She raised her head and looked at Buffy evenly.

"The Hellmouth needs a guardian even when she decides that it can do without her. I was only doing my duty"

The blond slayer smiled coldly but her eyes were smoldering.

"You have always been so good at doing the right thing. Haven't you?"

Faith was taken aback momentarily but recovered just as quickly "At least I've never tried to hide behind a warped sense of justice to escape my calling"

"Of course not. You have no problem bending justice to your will. I 'm not as comfortable with doing that as you have always been"

Faith smirked triumphantly. "Yet, you are definitely comfortable with letting others do your job. Or take care of your family or pay your bills"

Buffy cringed and glanced at Spike. He had an alert look in his face. It seemed like he was expecting a reaction from her. Angel just looked uncomfortable.

"I never asked anyone for help" she said with as much dignity as she could pretend to have.

"But you certainly expected it. You left Dawn unprotected and in a house that was mortgaged beyond saving. If it hadn't been for Spike, Dawn wouldn't have made it even after she went to live with her father. He has always seen to her wellbeing even when it compromised his own. You owe everything to him"

Buffy turned to look at Spike and he lowered his eyes to the floor. A feeling of tenderness swept over her. Faith was correct at least in this.

"I know that and I know that I will be grateful to him as long as I live"

Spike broke in at that moment. "Pet, I don't want your gratitude. I love the Bit and did everything for her sake not because I wanted you to owe me anything". He smiled lovingly at her and she felt the increasingly familiar warmth settle in her belly.

"All the same, thank you"

"You're welcome, love. But Pet, don't get all defensive on Faith. She and the Poof are good for each other. They deserve each other in their own dodgy way" he said matter-of-factly.

Angel glared at his childe but did not volunteer a comeback. Spike was trying to diffuse the situation in his own unique manner.

But Buffy wasn't as easily appeased. "Why are you two here then?"

It was Angel who answered this time. "Every so often we return to the Hellmouth to check for any changes. Its just routine work"

Buffy nodded unconvincingly but turned away and out of the kitchen. The three remaining stared at her retreating form. None knew what to say.

Faith released an audible sigh.

"Well that went well"

By the time she got to her room her legs were shaking. He had been right. Long ago, Caleb had told her that she didn't matter. That she was easily replaced.

And she had been replaced. How that hurt.

"You're not special. Why did you think you ever were?" the other her said mockingly sweet.

Her taunts tore at the Slayer's shredded soul. She didn't have to look up to know that she was there.

"I was once" she whispered.

"You were nothing. A tool. Now you are my tool"

Her eyes watered but she nodded her accent.

"Don't cry pretty. You have a higher purpose now than you ever did. When you die, it will be for something better than yourself"

"I don't …want…I don't deserve that" she whispered brokenly.

"But you do. You killed someone…an innocent someone. All the pain and suffering…"

"…'s not enough" she whispered brokenly.

"Exactly"

Was Her reply.

As he cleared out the kitchen from the remnants of his thwarted breakfast, Spike wondered at the scene he'd just witnessed.

Rivalries between Faith and Buffy were par for the course. They were too much alike to do anything else but fight. He was smart enough to detect a hint of jealously in his slayer. She still felt for Angel although he really couldn't say what she felt. Even for him for that matter.

It seemed like he no longer knew her.

But he loved her. Just the same as when they were mirroring souls, or rather she his soul.

The rather grating doorbell interrupted his thoughts. With a heavy sight he put down his dishrag and moved towards the front door. Apparently Faith and Poofster had returned to the basement either probably to shag or badmouth him and Buffy. He really couldn't care less. Their presence was bound to be problematic anyhow.

As the presence of the trio standing in front of him would be.

Aside from a shorter hairstyle, Willow looked just the same as she had always done. Her denim skirt, plaid polo shirt with sneakers combination bordered on dorky and the perpetual little frown line of speculation was etched between her eyes. Tara seemed her usual friendly mother-earth self although she had gained a few noticeable pounds. It was Giles that like Buffy looked aged beyond his years. Spike's glance deviated towards the fellow Englishman in question.

"How is she?" was the only greeting.

The vampire shrugged half-heartedly and accepted Willow's warm hug. He led his guests to the living room and motioned for them to sit.

"I had a feeling that no matter what I said you would make your way here soon enough. I wish all of you would have let me have this time with her"

The Watcher was unmoved. "Something has happened that Buffy needs to be made aware of. There is a new threat looming…"

Spike interrupted him impatiently. "Never mind, I heard it all last night. The Poofster and the Bint are downstairs"

"Angel is here?"

"Unfortunately. It seems that my house is now serving as Slayer central. Whatever creepy-crawly is on the menu for now, it seems like we are all assembled for it. Only, Buffy will not get involved. She doesn't need this now"

Giles nodded. "I agree. We are only here to see that she is safe."

The red-headed witch steeled herself visibly and addressed her host.

"Where is she?"

"Master bedroom"

Willow nodded to Tara and headed towards the direction of the room. A few seconds later she was back looking even more worried. "She's gone"

TBC.

Once again I apologize for the snail's pace. This Masters is harder than I thought it would be. For whoever is still reading, the next chapter (which is almost finished) is going back to the rather icky (yes, this is the Eng. Major speaking) "relationship" between Caleb and the Slayer. If the whole sub/dom thing is not for you, please skip it, I really don't like complaints about it. . Thank you and R/R please. - Jill


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